You GOTTA acquire a GoGirl urination device! god it sounds weird af but hear me out:
GoGirl is a device that allows you to pee while standing(!!), made of medical grade silicone, compact, hygenic and easy to use. It looks like this
and is the size of your motherfucking PALM at most. It even comes in different colors if you wanna be all fancy about your synthetic dick. ALSO its really cheap – like $10 on Amazon.
I recently got it and it works SO WELL. You take a leak in the field, wash it off with water, put it in a plastic bag and BOOM youre done (just wash it with soap when u get home, dont be a disgusting animal). It also doesnt smell, minus the generic tolerable medical grade silicone smell.
I legit will never have to squat in another scorpion/snake/other subhuman cretin infested excavation site ever again with this. Imagine having to climb up a 50ft ladder to get out of a murky neanderthal cave to take a leak and having to SQUAT to do so. UGH, right? Go get this life saving thingy and NEVER BRUSH UR ASSCHEEKS ON SPIKEY PLANTS EVER AGAIN. I LEGIT CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH THIS IS MAKING MY DIGGING LIFE SO MUCH EASIER.